Greatest theme song ever. Everybody pretty much agrees on that. However, one quick question: the third Hawaiian to turn to the camera (the really pretty one with the long hair that swings behind her as her head turns): what exactly is she conveying? Intrigue and danger, sure, but hers? Ours? Kam Fong as Chin Ho’s? Is she in trouble? Are we in trouble?
A commercial for color television — in black and white! It’s RCA, so you can take their word for it.
“Look at that color!” says Dad. Uh, OK.
“And look at all the shows in color!” exclaims Junior, but he doesn’t show us his TV Guide. That’s because he’s lying.
Yeah, Joey Heatherton will get you into a sleepy space, just like the Battle for Iwo Jima. This restful theme (including blaring horns) is just the ticket for to ease yourself off to a restful slumber. Nice Flo Henderson ‘do on Joey too, and she does some before-bed limbering exercises. She’s so shy, so introverted, so retiring.
Here’s the “Heart-Touching Magic of Jim Nabors,” but even more importantly, here’s the brain-twisting disorientation of seeing Jim simultaneously not be Gomer Pyle AND wear a leisure suit. Wow. Just wow.
“America’s Romantic Recording Star,” as the announcer asks us to now call him, sings “Help Me Make It Through The Night” because he knows how tough this will be for us.
He also sings “You Don’t Know Me,” and we really don’t, do we?
We’re informed that he is not only loved by millions, but by countless millions. Good news for Jim, but not good news for the Census Bureau.
This is a good disorienting clip where Jean Stapleton is trying not to sound or act like a dingbat (she succeeds for the most part, but there is something in her manner that still suggests Edith).
If you really want your mind blown, try watching Jean presenting Emmy awards during the early Seventies (apparently not available on YouTube, thanks a lot). She is out to blow America away, and succeeds in the most disorienting way, with her straight posture, elegant grace and theatrical delivery (picture it: “the nominees ahhhh…”).
Still, you can bask in this. Disorient yourselves watching Edith not be Edith.
Not sure why he looks so worried. Perhaps he knows what canned coffee and sushi are going to do to his insides.
Ringo Starr for Ringo Drinks
Here, Ringo shows us why he’s the most indispensable Beatle, from recording on Apple Records to pimping an apple-flavored drink.
A rare glimpse of Ringo where he is not obsessively flashing the peace sign. And the female voiceover is not disorienting at all.
Sly Directs Flying Children
Here we see that Sly’s directing talent is on par with instant soup.
According to Rock, it’s pronounced “Kin-nor,” not “Nor.”
Brad Pitt’s Coffee in a Can
What’s exotic to the Japanese? Brad Pitt working in an office.
Bruce Looks At A Suburu Quickly
“Bruce, we’ll pay you two billion dollars to open your eyes for about two seconds. You don’t even have to say a word or actively endorse our product.”